storm contained, sunshine boxed, freedom shackled.

Its been a month and three days.... but for me it was just a week ago....

On the first of January two thousand nine.... at around ten thirty pm.... i was hailed on msn by my old friend Karen. She had bad news to tell me.... i felt the fear descending over my body....

the fear that i had held afar ever since seventh of december two thousand eight... when i saw the body of that dead child who had fallen block 3A....

just as i thought, me fears have come to light.... my heart stopped and broke....

'i have bad news to tell you.' she says...

'my daughter is dead.' she says...

'i'm sorry i didnt let you know sooner. i was to distraught and sick.' she says...

a gasp... a tear... a sob... then disbelief...

then shoulder heaving, heartrending sobs tore their way out of my soul.... my heart broke on its way....

she was dead... jocelyn teh... this adorable 10 year old that i saw from conception, to pregnancy to birth, to growth... one of the prettiest little girls i know... gentlest of souls too... also one of the most damaged of souls... i had adored this child with soft and vibrant eyes...

she was mentally tortured by her father... so much so that she hated to go visit him... so much so that her step-father who loved her like his own, send her to a doctor to have her psyche evaluated... so much so that she attempted suicide a few times...

now she is at peace. now she sleeps on. no ugly images of knives and graves and blood will rent her mother's heart. now she is safe.

darling child... adored by everyone.... i can only offer this to you.... know that you're grieved... know that you're never forgotten... know that you're always loved...